Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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