that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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