out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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