OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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