Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
