pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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