Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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