I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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