Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
