I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
