We're facebook friends in real life
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
