end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
