I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
