hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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