my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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