Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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