If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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