i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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