Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
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