He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
