Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
there is glitter all over my balls
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