is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
