She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I have fence marks all over my body
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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