If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well I just put wine in my tea
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Randomize
