question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize