My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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