someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
