member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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