To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
