You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Randomize
