Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

Joe is yelling at the trees again.

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(530): View more from California

69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.

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(217): View more from Illinois

It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.

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(281): View more from Texas

WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!

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(630): View more from Illinois

If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.

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(323): View more from California

I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.

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