I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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