loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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