You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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