I'm really into asian looking animals
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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