We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
God, I missed his penis.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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