He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
