I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
