so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
