there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I didn't notice because vodka
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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