I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
