respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
