Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Randomize