i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
