I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
