if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
