i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize