counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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