like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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