Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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