At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
