no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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