I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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