I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
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He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
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TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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