I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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