Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
