if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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