Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
