I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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