is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
