the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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