She said her name was "party"
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Randomize
