I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
