We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
