woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
