And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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