FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
