Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
