This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i need some magic done to my vagina
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
there is glitter all over my balls
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
